Monthly Archives: February 2013

The Undercover Experience – one of the worst customer experiences in my life

As many women who “blessed” by non-standard bra size I have to shop online. Mostly I have really good customer experience, but this one was very different.

Frankly speaking they made me furious at some point. So the temptation to get all emotional is really there, but I’m going just state the facts.

I made my order on 24th of December 2012.

After a month I discovered that status of my order is still ‘Payed by PayPal’.

I asked the site politely through contact form about the status of my order – no response.

Two days later I opened a PayPal dispute (Glad I used PayPal! If it was credit card I would be totally lost).

Then I got a very cold answer that they didn’t have the bra I had ordered in stock and waiting for Panache for it. And it will be another week. There was no sorry, nothing.

I answered that if they had it delivered within 45 days then I would wait, otherwise I want a refund. No answer. They just silently tried to return me 32.64 pounds (of 34!), PayPal cancelled the transaction.

Yesterday I reminded about that and got no reaction.

I escalated to claim and got my money back today (have to go bra shopping!)

I will never ever buy from them again and strongly unadvise others!

I really glad I used PayPal as a method of payment. Everything goes smoothly with them and their customer protection is awesome feature.

I don’t need bras I just happen to like them

I don’t know how much it’s common among the world female population, but here, in eastern Ukraine, it’s not very common, but it’s not something unique. Woman can be average or even large on the cup size scale, but she still has self-supportive breasts. So technically she doesn’t need a bra. I’m one of these women.

There are a lot of posts about Cooper ligament which looses elasticity and causes sagging if you don’t have support, but what can I say – I’m just lucky to have a sturdy ligaments apparently. Local women tend to use ‘a pencil rule’: if you can place a pencil at the root of your breasts and it falls then you ok to go braless, if it’s stays in place, bra is a must. I think it makes sense because even  smaller cups sometimes need support and much larger breasts are ok without any. And I think that if your breasts are really heavy then it may be a good idea to spare your shoulders and back and wear a bra.

And it goes without saying that you should wear a bra during the pregnancy and breastfeeding. Well, may be there are women who don’t need that, too, I just never know one. If you know let me know )

I don’t really need a bra, but I wear bras a lot.

  • They dramatically increase my wardrobe options, especially in summer (it is real tricky to find something work appropriate for summer that stays work appropriate without a bra).
  • My shape is better.
  • They are pretty and they are fun.

When I discovered bras which fit that was like a whole new horizon for me in terms of what clothes I can wear (I like comfort too much to be able to force myself into ill fitting bra if it’s not just for couple of hours once a year).

To emphasize importance of bras and fitting for any size is part of what the community of lingerie bloggers stands for. Most of those wonderful women are intelligent, supportive and dedicated, they really try to make this world a better place, but fighting against ignorance towards women needs they sometimes forget that some women have different needs.

So it becomes “Every woman needs a well fitting bra” instead of “Every woman should be able to find a well fitting bra if she needs or just wants it”. I totally agree that poor fit is something that should be banished. I strongly believe that bras should be comfortable and that they should be supportive if woman needs support. But I also strongly believe that an adult woman being compos mentis can every right and ability to identify her needs by herself.

It goes far enough. I was advised to see a doctor because I had said that I hadn’t needed a sport bra and had found them restrictive. I was said that it couldn’t be that breasts were not sagging despite sport activity and all. I was told that women like me didn’t exist. It felt like an attempt of bulling. Like my very existence was something annoying because it disturbed that imaginary model of the reality everyone has in one’s head.*

It’s really bad if somebody’s needs are neglected. But an attempt to push women into buying something that they don’t really need is equally ethically questionable. Even if it’s done for free. I don’t like brainwashing at all. I was born in the USSR where it was everywhere, I think it makes me  intolerant to the damn thing, so I felt like I should raise the topic.

I hope it won’t make me unwelcomed in the lingerie blogs.

*Yep, we all have your very own model of reality which isn’t the reality itself, sane person just keeps adjusting it when learns something about reality, but sometimes we are very reluctant to do so, because we liked previous version better. It can even make some people really aggressive.

compos mentis