Some news about me

I have been silent for some time: first I was too scared and nervous because of events in Ukraine, then just tired. After a while an opportunity which was promising me professional growth and life change presented itself and I needed to work hard to make it happen. And now I can say that it all worked out. I moved to Silicone Valley. I can’t promise to resume the blog in the nearest future, as now I have 100500 things to do (my ‘to do’ list is now not as long as it was on the day one, but it is still very long). But after I settle down I hope I will be writing again (now as I have totally new perspective I think I have a lot to share), but I can’t give any promises )).

Living through the war

It’s not very close for me, but it’s in my country. It’s in helicopters over my parents house and much more often ambulance sirens in the night: they transport wounded to the city hospitals. It’s in the Red Cross billboards and a small and very dynamic crowd near regional filial of Red Cross, people come to donate clothes and food and and more people come to get them. It’s in the need to check news feed every 15 minutes. It’s in the eyes of our military and refugees from Donetsk and Lugansk. It’s in the air.

Couple hundred miles from the combat theater life seems almost the same, almost normal. You have the number of Red Cross in your phone and you know what to do in case of shelling and what to take with you in case of evacuation, you have untouchable amount of water and food that can survive without a fridge, but you still work, still go shopping every week, still visit relatives and eat out with friends and try to enjoy small things. And this keeps you sane.

We, like a nation,  were shocked by Heaven Hundred deaths. We never thought that something like that can happen in Ukraine. Now thousands are dead and hundreds of thousands lost their homes. But shock passed long ago. This is our new reality and we learn how to live in it.

Ceasefire was declared recently. There are almost no doubts that not for long and it will be broken exactly like it happened in June. In fact it was already broken dozens of times, it’s just neither side hasn’t declared it broken to start a major offensive. What Russians have in their hands now is not what they really want, and they want us on our knees. It’s just unbearable for them, that country that was a part of Russian Empire for so long doesn’t want to be a satellite of Russia anymore.

So I’m living through the war and I try to imitate normal life. Sometimes I comment, sometimes I try to write something, but it’s not going to be like before for a long, long time. Winter is coming and it’s not going to be about Merry Christmas and Happy New Year anymore. Not in Ukraine.

I might be back

I haven’t updated this blog for quite long time, first it was shock about what was going on in my country, so I wasn’t able to write, then I just forgot about it until I got a comment approval request in my mail couple of days ago. And I thought that now is the time to return. It’s not like situation in Ukraine is back to normal (war is in about 110 miles from my city), but I think that trying to live my life normally is a good idea. Small normal things (like lunches with friends or nice haircut or small scale shopping therapy) really help to coop with stress. So I’m going to add some blog posts about nice small things I bought and about theory of creating harmonyalmost anything is healthier than checking news every ten minutes.

So if our situation don’t worsen dramatically I’m going to be back with new reviews (3 bras, couple of interesting clothes items) and I think I have some ideas about how to wear fashion jewelry if you are curvy.

Ukraine’s glory has not yet died, nor her freedom…

I created this blog as a form of participation in the lingerie blogging community, but this post is not about lingerie or clothes or style. It’s about events in my home country, events, that left me almost speechless and incredibly sad, events that now make me worried, pessimistic and angry.

I was never interested in politics. I never believed in our political system, so I just ignored it. I lived in my nice little world, filled with job I loved, warmness of my friends and family, travels, nice clothes and pretty bra collection. So when #Euromaidan started I thought that our government behaved irresponsible by just ignoring it, but didn’t pay much attention. I had a tough  deadline to meet and winter sales to reward myself for meeting it with good results.

And then it hit me when I clicked the link and read that while I was sipping my coffee, chatting with friends, writing code and playing with my cat government of Ukraine was killing dozens of people. It felt like a complete nightmare, I had never thought that such a bloodbath had been possible in my country. It was crystal clear that there was no way back. After that choice was a dictatorship or a real revolution. My nice little world was falling apart.

It was practically a miracle, but people of maidan won.

Maidan organizational structure is based on hundreds (many self-defense hundreds, cyber-hundred, medical hundred etc), after events of 18th-21st of February a new hundred were added: Heaven hundred.

Heavens hundred. Heroes do not die!… but they die
Photo: debaterage.livejournal.com

Most of them were killed by snipers. Many of them were terribly young, the youngest was 17 year old. But there were people of all ages, different ethnicity and occupation. Students. Farmers, teachers, workers, actor, computer developer, musician… Ukrainian, Russian, Georgian, Armenian, Jewish origin… Ukraine still mourns them.

Flowers, it’s only a small part of them
Photo: Egor Lukanin

After the revolution there were hopes and there was fear. Fear that politicians do their usual thing and all these deaths will become waist. Fear that corruption and kleptocracy find a way back. And fear that with this level of corruption when we remove it there will be nothing left, no law and no order. So maidan doesn’t go anywhere, they stay as a reminder to our parliament. Reminder that they don’t have a right to become a new dragon.

And then when it looked like everything starts to calm down and there is hope after all, Crimea was occupied by green men. Our dear Russian brothers deny that they are their soldiers, so we call them green men.

– How did we get here?
– Putin bought us in Voentorg*.
*Voentorg is a chain of army shops, where you can buy boots and clothes, but nothing like automatic weapon or RPG, Putin claimed that green men bought everything there and are not regular Russian troops.

And that was a shock too. Because “Russian brothers” are our brothers not just in political rhetorics, we are brothers quite literally. A lot of people have family living at both side of the border and I’m no exception, my uncle and my cousin live in Moscow. So a war with Russia in a way feels like a civil war to me.

I have relatives in Crimea, which now is occupied. Right now they are ok, but situation there is very volatile and if I lived somewhere on the West I would invite them to us, but it has no sense as Russians can invade here any moment.

Russians often mention Russian speaking people of Ukraine as just “Russians living in Ukraine”, but that’s not how vast majority of us identifies ourselves. We are Russian-speaking Ukrainians. Just like English speaking Americans are not English.

Ukrainians have different mentality, vast majority of us don’t have imperial complex, being part of the most great and scary means nothing to us, for us it’s more about hard work and reward for it, about freedom, and main role of the state in opinion of many Ukrainians is do not hinder. So while ethnically South and East of Ukraine is more close to Russia and we speak Russian, mentally South and East are more close to the rest of Ukraine than to Russia. We don’t want to fight with Russia, but we will if we have to.

And thought that we can start to kill each other every minute because of Putin’s ambitions makes me sick. Thought that I live in about 30 miles from Russian border makes me fear for my life. Right now diplomats are still trying to talk and Russians are trying to pretend that their actions are not plain and simple aggression toward peaceful country. But if Russians cross the border elsewhere, then there will be nothing to talk about anymore and the war will be as ugly as it gets.

There is not much hope left, but contra spem spero*.

Pray for us!

* This is not just Latin phrase, it’s a name of famous poem of Lesya Ukrainka (translation doesn’t do it justice, but it’s a best translation I was able to find).

Sorry for dissapearance

We have a revolution in Ukraine. I don’t fill like writing about clothes when we have people killed on streets. Won’t be updated in the nearest weeks.

2013 is over, but I have plans for New Year 2014

I published 37 posts in 2013 and for me it was a quite comfortable pace, so the next year I expect it will be the same number of posts, give or take.

I participated in two campaigns #diversityInLingerie and Modesty Panel. It was fun, so I’m looking forward to new hot topics from lingerie blogging world.

I wrote my top post ‘Are you an hourglass?’, but I can’t promise to write something like that one more time.

Last year there were about ten bra reviews in this blog, but I expect that there will be less the next year, because I found shape and style I like most, and I have a box full of bras which fit from ok to perfect. Of cause I will be buying more, but it’s hardly going to be more than five-six bras, and I’m positive that at least one of them will be Mimi Holliday Super Plunge (and there were two Mimi Holliday Super Plunge reviews already).

So I’m going concentrate more on theory, and more on clothes than bras. If there is about bras then it will be about some nuances, because all basics and well beyond were already perfectly covered.

So what else I’m going to write about in 2014:

• Finish prints and optical illusion series, there should three more posts: about polka dot, florals and animal prints.
• Style in general. I’m going to write about Classic style more that’s for sure, I also want to write about mixing styles in one outfit, but no promises about other style topics.
• Accessories (especially belts, scarves and necklaces, because I love them and they can be sometimes tricky).
•  Clothes reviews of cause.

I’m also open to any suggestions. So if you have something about bras or clothes in mind you think I could give some useful information, please comment!

As a conclusion let me say ‘thank you!’ to all of you! Especially to those who commented (I love reading and answering comments!). I wish love, joy, health and all the other good things to wish for to all my readers! Happy New Year!

Why there won’t be a giveaway on one year anniversary

I’m glad to announce that my blog is one year old and there won’t be a giveaway!

Yep. no beautiful bras that could be yours if you promote me in Facebook, Twitter and whatever and will be lucky enough. You know why? Because I’m not selling you bras.

No clothes either. For the same reason. I’m not in marketing. And especially self-marketing.*

I’m writing because I have information I want to share and I think that writing blog in English is great language practice. I also like to be a part of lingerie blogging community. But I’m not a salesperson. My English is not excellent and I never hesitate to write characteristics as ‘must be unsupportive’ or ‘good only for firm breasts’ or ‘inconsistent sizing’.

So, please, share with me the joy of writing what I think.  Of having zero photos in my underwear. Of not having to wear shapewear under cheap polyester dresses to make them look good on photos. Of the luxury to be a snob when it comes to clothes. Of the luxury to stop updating the blog because I don’t feel like blogging.

And thank you for all you comments and attention. I really like to have readers and especially interlocutors. People with whom I can share my interests.

UPD And, after second thought it doesn’t seem quite right to do nothing, so here is the thing: you can ask me in this post anything you want about style, what goes with the dress, why that bra or shirt fits funny, what skirts are the best for your body shape or anything you like bra and clothes related and I will try to answer to the best of my knowledge.

* I’m not sure that it’s official term. It’s from ‘The Jones’ movie (long story short: self marketing can make a real damage).

Not everybody is beautiful

It has become very popular to say that everybody is beautiful, sexy etc. Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think so. Not every landscape is beautiful, why people should be? How often your breath is taken when you just see some person walking by or looking at you from a photo? Not every single time you just see anybody, I bet. Beauty, this ultimate visual harmony, is a rare gift and usually a lot of work on top of it. It has many faces and there is no single mold, your eyes usually should be trained by diverse visual experience to recognize it when it’s not what you expected, but it’s not something completely arbitrary.

If you are talking about human body from biochemical or medical point of view then I could agree that every body is beautiful. Complexity and that ever changing balance of human body, it’s adaptive abilities are amazing. But aesthetically most human bodies (and faces) are not beautiful. Many have some or many nice features, but there are some disharmony in them. Most people have at least one feature that can be called beautiful (eye color, shape of fingers, some gesture… possibilities are endless), but it doesn’t make them beautiful all over.

Blinded by the toxic ideas that only beautiful people are entitled to be loved, that everybody likes beautiful people, that only beautiful are meant to be happy so many people fall into a pit of the self-loathing and self-pity. But thinking that you body is not perfect (which is usually true) does not create body image issues, being unable to make peace with that simple fact does.

And here comes the idea that everybody is beautiful. Does it help? I don’t think so. I even think that it’s also toxic. Because it’s either about erasing our ability to distinguish beauty or about conflict with reality. And I doesn’t like either.

Attractiveness however is a totally different story. The vast majority of people are attractive in the eyes of other people (but of cause not all the people, and usually not most of them). Any regular person without some horrible disease which changes appearance drastically who makes very minimal effort (like keeping body, face and hair clean, buying clothes in the right size, having normal dental care, you got the idea) and who has no severe communication problems is already attractive to some (at least). If you add good attitude, some communication skills, some fitness and clothes that flatter then he or she will be attractive to many. Of cause much younger people won’t find much older person sexually attractive except some rare exceptions, but is it going to ruin lives?

I would say that about attractiveness and sexual attractiveness it’s half true, because they forget to add ‘not for all’.  And have you heard that half-true is the worst kind of lies?

I think that desire to be beautiful in the eyes of everyone, to be sexy for everyone, to be loved or liked by everyone is deeply neurotic. And an attempt to believe that it’s true will make you psychotic if it will be successful.

When I was very young somebody told be that I’m not $100, so not everybody likes me. That’s very true. I’m a person. I’m quite good looking and I make some effort for that, but I’m not beautiful. There are men who think that I’m sexy as hell, and there are other men who are not interested at all. There are people who love me and there are many people who like me, but some people hate me or don’t like me,  and there are billions who just don’t give a damn about me. And you know what? It’s totally ok. I don’t need to be liked by everybody to be happy. I also don’t need to be perfect to be happy. I don’t need to be sexy for every man. I don’t need to be beautiful.

I’m not my appearance, I’m not my intellect, I’m not my sexiness, I’m not my feelings. I’m all of that and so much more. All the listed is important and none is solely defining who I am.

And it’s true for any person who is ok with the reality where people who are not beautiful could be happy and could be loved, for any person who is not a hostage of opinion of others about her (or him). Any person who is capable of seeing beauty and flaws, great features and imperfections in himself/herself and others without concentrating on something completely, without loosing the whole picture. Who can love and like real people, not some ideal imaginary models of people.

Ok, I let it out of my chest, so I hope that I will resume posts about clothes, bras and how to look better with what you have soon )

This is going to be some time until I resume blogging

This is going to be lytdybr post (lytdybr is what Russian word ‘diary’ becomes if you use wrong keyboard layout). This mean that I’m not going to be reviewing a bra or writing something useful, just writing about how it is going for me. Which is pretty good actually.

The thing is I’m in California right now. There was a lot to do before flying to the other end of the world (visa, tickets, arrange my cat living with my parents, install some stuff on my corporate laptop, pack my bags etc) and there is a lot to do here (work, shopping, sightseeing to name a few).

Here is what I think about California

17-miles drive is beautiful even when it’s foggy and the weather is not good at all. But where I’m staying it has been great so far! Very warm and sunny.

They care about disabled people over there, people in wheelchairs are not limited by their homes and cars, traffic lights for pedestrians are doubled by sound, so they can be used by blind people. Great respect for that. In Ukraine it’s a terrible problem.

People are really nice. My team members are all very friendly and helpful.

Starbucks is overrated, but food is really good here and portions are huge!

GPS driving is not my thing!

Shopping is not what I expected it to be. I was going to buy jeans and casual shoes and sandals and I can’t find even single pair of jeans that fits and flatter and I tried a lot. Being in two Levi’s shops and True Religion outlet and several others I found only four models which were my size and looked ok, but they didn’t flatter me at all and were all small folds in the back because of very soft elastic or were too low on my hips. Skinnies or slims of size 26(sometimes 27)-32 for girl with curves? (I forget about boyfriends, I promise, they look cute, but never fit me, although I insist on skinnies! I have old skinnies which fit fab), pleease! Is it too much to ask? No luck with shoes either. Patent purple heels doesn’t count because they are anything but casual. But you guys have really good deals on electronics. So hooray to a new phone, a camera and a laptop. And leather jacket I may review later.

Definitely going to San Francisco next  weekend. Hope to find something looking good and walkable there (yes! I do that awful thing with my shoes: I walk, I can walk couple of miles just because I feel like walking and the weather is good, I also don’t like shoes which look all sporty and completely lack style). But even if I don’t find them Golden Bridge alone should be enough to justify the hassle.

 So being on a mission (buying shoes is a mission!) I’m afraid I won’t be able to write a post the next couple of weeks, but all your suggestions about what to do in northern California will be greatly appreciated.

Quick update on purchases

Well, now you can officially call this shopping spree

I’ve ordered this dress from YOOX. I think its construction is absolutely genius for curves. It has backless slip underneath and very-very deep V, so it accommodates to the bust really well and waist can be cinched by ties. I’ve got size 8 (my bust measurements are 38-23-37), it’s already sold out, but size 6 and size 4 are available when I’m writing it . And it’s total steal for 100% silk! So hurry!

I also bought wrap cashmere cardigan and a statement necklace.